


Actual Size

by CannibalKats



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 13:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4020994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannibalKats/pseuds/CannibalKats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU, inspired by a tumblr prompt about your otp meeting when one pretends to be their gf/bf to get them out of an awkward encounter and gets beat up.  I may have applied it to my ot3, Anders, Isabela, and Warden Mahariel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Actual Size

“Hey Pretty Eyes!”

Nevaeh’s head shot up, she glanced around the bar, but the aggressive compliment hadn’t been aimed at her. ‘Bela’s elbow connected sharply with her ribs and a napkin slid in front of her. She glanced at her girlfriend, before looking down. Isabela’s face was smug and rightfully so; on the napkin was a perfectly rendered dick.

Nev snorted and took a deep drink of her coffee before grabbing her own napkin and the pen tucked behind her ear. She began her own painfully accurate doodle of a vulva on the napkin, shaking her head when ‘Bela waved her flask under her nose and waggled her eyebrows.

“Some of us have to work later.”

“Nerd,” her girlfriend laughed.

“Pretty eyes,” the leering voice was back and getting increasingly aggressive. “Hey pretty eyes, sit with me.”

Nev slid her doodled vulva in front of Isabela and scanned the room. She was met with another elbow, Isabela nodded in the direction of a tall, well muscled man in a tank top sauntering towards the large plush hearth seats. She watched him lean heavily on a chair occupied by a thin man in scrubs, surrounded by books.

In the nook closer to his prey she couldn’t catch what he was saying but the thin man didn’t seem impressed or interested. There was some gesturing on the standing mans part and then she heard him say. “Come on smile, it’s a joke, you should smile.”

“Shit,” ‘Bela cursed under breath, she’d heard it too.

Nev pushed her stool away from the table coffee still in hand and grabbed the napkins they’d been doodling on. She casually slipped behind the counter and pulled a couple pieces of tape off the dispenser, she winked at the familiar barista.

She made sympathetic eye contact with the uncomfortable man while the other continued to ignore his disinterest. She rested a gentle hand on the tank top as she lowered herself onto the arm of the chair and placed her half-full paper cup in his shaking hands.

“Sorry, Love,” her big teal curls hiding his face briefly while she leaned in as if to kiss him on the cheek instead she whispered. “ _Go with it.”_

He nodded, barely.

“Isabela,” she nodded to her girlfriend. “Distracted, you know how she is.”

“It’s ok,” he stumbled over the words gaining confidence as he went. “I, kn-know what she’s like; gave me time to get some work done.”

Nev glanced towards the man in the tank, he was watching her suspiciously. She smiled; it was her sweetest meet-the-parents-smile. “Do you know each other?” She glanced at the books covering the end table, medical texts. “From the hospital?”

He looked at her dumbfounded.

“Were you the concussion from yesterday?” Her face blank, innocent, she could hear the man beside her stifle a laugh.

The muscles in the tank top were starting to get the point and he began to leave, stopped by one of his friends who handed him something. He held it up, the napkin with Isabela’s dick drawing, the words _actual size_ scrawled above it; linty tape glittering in the florescent light.

“You’re girlfriend know where you are Thursdays, Pretty Eyes?”

His eyes narrowed at the man beside me who shrank into the chair.

She glanced down at him, realizing she’d seen him at the bar where ‘Bela was a bouncer. The Hanged Man, while not strictly a LGBT+ club was the preferred hangout for local queers and misfits.

“Where do you think we met?” She smirked.

“You think you’re funny?” He thrust the doodle at them.

“Well,” she glanced down at his loose gym shorts. “They say the best jokes are ones the audience can relate to.”

The man beside her snorted into the lid of the cup he was pretending to drink and she made a mental note to get a fresh coffee when this was over.

“You like fucking fags then?” Muscles spat at her.

She flung herself off the chair shoulder firmly connecting with his solar plexus, he stumbled back into the low table and fell backwards landing with her firmly sat on her chest screaming at him about his manners. She landed two quick jabs on his Jaw before he managed to get hold of her arms, she managed a poorly aimed head-butt that broke both their noses and split her lip on her own teeth before Isabela and a man she didn’t recognise pulled them apart.

Muscles was whisked away by his friends while Isabela high-fived her still bleeding girlfriend. The man in the chair had disappeared in the chaos but was soon back pushing her into the plush pleather chair.

“My name’s Anders,” he said gently inserting a tampon into her left nostril. “Thanks.”

 

 


End file.
